What defines narcissism? Being a narcissist means that a person is selfish, arrogant, and needs admiration and love from the rest of the world. Unluckily, most people that have narcissistic personalities do not know or refuse to admit that they’re like that.
Those with strong narcissistic tendencies hate seeing other people do well. Though they show self-confidence, they lack it. There’s a huge difference between being confident in yourself and thinking you are the best.
There are several different psychological reasons why narcissistic individuals behave this way, and we’ll go over the most significant of them.
They lack empathy.A narcissist can hardly realize how much others have to work to succeed. They assume that other people use the same dishonest means which they’d use to get what they want. They cannot imagine that another person could possibly be more capable. These people can’t believe that somebody worthier than them may exist. Narcissists do not understand that others achieve their goals because they can work hard.
A narcissist believes that they deserve whatever other people can achieve because they’re better than the rest. If somebody else owns more things than a narcissist or is better than them at something, the narcissist’s feeling of superiority gets even stronger. The same applies to their ambition to have whatever the other person has. A narcissist believes no one deserves to have what they don’t have.
Narcissists feel comfortable when other people are miserable.They take pleasure in seeing the struggles, problems, or humiliation of other people. There’s a German term for this – Schadenfreude. It is a compound noun of Schaden ‘damage, harm’ and Freude ‘joy.’ Narcissists are glad when others cannot achieve their goals. When people feel miserable or are unhappy, narcissists also, have sadistic tendencies and feel extremely pleased when they make others suffer. Since they can’t achieve happiness themselves, they could only feel envy and resentment if someone else is happy or prosperous. And they may quickly become rude and arrogant.
Narcissists believe they’re the only good and worthy people.They think others are undeserving of success and happiness. Also, if somebody else different than them is doing well and is succeeding, then the narcissist would feel they are in danger. The reason why is that narcissists have a strong psychological need always to compare themselves to others. When they do, they can only see things in black and white. Either they’re the best, or they are losers. A narcissist could never accept to be on the losing side.
Narcissists need to be positively assessed by others.Since they are incredibly insecure about their capabilities, narcissists don’t want the world to see their flaws. And they would not accept a negative opinion about them. So, they might act aggressively toward people who don’t like them much or do not support them.
Narcissists are unstable and may hurt others emotionally.Another way for a narcissistic individual to undermine another person’s value is by belittling and insulting them. They’d try to destroy others, turn people against their friends, bully them, abuse them and do many other emotionally harmful things.
Narcissists can never be happy.First and foremost, real satisfaction comes from within. Those who have a narcissistic personality cannot feel genuine happiness as they lack own individuality. They, therefore, feel upset and attempt to be happier by managing their flawed sense of self-esteem. Narcissists search for external acknowledgments of their success. Such people believe they would increase their social status merely by buying expensive things, having more sex, earning more money and so on. Nevertheless, these things cannot buy true happiness. What narcissists don’t realize is that real contentment comes from within.
So, how to handle a narcissist?
Narcissists might be different – grandiose, covert, or communal – but they all have a common trait: they’re insecure and can’t accept others’ happiness. Dealing with a narcissist might be challenging. Narcissists can drain our energy, make us feel uncomfortable, and even manage to focus all the attention on themselves. That’s too stressful for most of us dealing with a narcissist. So, other people sooner or later, begin to avoid them.
If you have to face a narcissist, do not allow them to make you feel bad about yourself. You’re not doing anything wrong by living a happy, peaceful and comfortable life. Do all that’s possible to distance yourself from narcissists; evil people will always be unhappy, but it is not your fault.