I have no idea what they told you while you were growing up but let’s get one thing straight from the beginning—abuse is not love.
Just think about it, how many women would be spared of torture if only we stopped romanticizing abuse?
No, love shouldn’t be hard. It does require a lot of effort but it should never require for you to bend over backward to receive it.
No, love shouldn’t hurt. Longing for someone, missing them when they’re away, aching for their embrace and touch are all normal things but this is all considered as sweet suffering. True love never questions your worth, never makes you wonder if you’re good enough or makes you feel like your heart is being shattered into a million pieces day after day.
See, we all need to stick one thing in our head—real men don’t make love feel hard, they make it feel like it’s the easiest thing there is. Real men don’t hurt their women, they protect them. Everything else is just a lie we tell ourself in fear of letting go of our toxic partner.
The truth is, a real man would never do anything to deliberately hurt the woman he loves. He’d never do anything to make his woman feel insecure or threatened or do anything that could break her heart. There is a list of things real men do and abusing women is never one of them.
Men who abuse women are nothing but cowards hiding behind their manhood. But they’re not real men. They’re just the mere shape of men but there is nothing but rotten souls on the inside.
If you told a kid to draw someone who abuses women either physically or emotionally, do you know what they’d draw? A monster, and that’s exactly what they are.
The thing is, a real man respects himself enough to never tell lies, to never play games, to never break someone who gave him their heart. As simple as that.
Real men cherish their women. They know that whatever you give to a woman, she returns it double. If you give her your heart, she’s gonna give you all of her love. If you give her a house, she’s gonna give you a home. If you give her your love, she’s gonna make you feel like the only man in this world. What more could you possibly ask for?
Real men protect their women. But they don’t just pretend to do it in public and then abuse them when they’re home and nobody is watching. They protect their women even from themselves. They make them feel safe and they never allow anything bad to get to them. The catch is that real men are aware of women’s strength, they don’t consider them the weaker sex at all but they’re there for them in the moments when life knocks them down.
Real men hate to see shattered women on their knees, begging for love or for mercy. That just makes their stomachs turn. That’s just something a sadist is turned by on. What hypes a real man up is seeing his woman with her head held high, happy and confident in her own skin. There is no bigger turn-on for true men than this.
A happy woman is the biggest strength of a real man. Only cowards enjoy abusing and bringing down women who chose to give them their hearts.
Sometimes, because of the circumstances we might find ourself in, or because of the pressure of society, we settle. And settling is one of the greatest friends of abuse. You just start going with the flow. You start ignoring your wishes and desires. You forget your worth and you think you deserve all the pain you get. But that’s so wrong. So, please don’t ever settle. Instead, love yourself to the point where solitude will be a better option than allowing someone to treat you with disrespect.
Self-love is the key to dodging the bullet called abuse. When you think about it, it does make sense. Because if you love yourself, you know what you deserve. You are aware of your worth and you know how you deserve to be treated. When you love yourself, you open doors for others to love you too.
So, whoever you are, whatever you stand for in this world, regardless of what you’ve been through in your life or the amount of love you feel for a man, always know that real men protect their women, they don’t abuse them. So, please, don’t ever settle for an abuser.
Know that the man who’s worthy of you will make his love feel like home. A real man will be there for you when times get ugly, he’ll be your shoulder to lean on when things get tough and he’ll do everything to protect you and to make you feel safe. So please, don’t ever allow someone to make you feel threatened and don’t call it love.